Posts filed under ‘Connection’
Happy New year! Tips for the Year of the Horse
I received this yesterday from my dear loud-and-proud-Chinese girlfriend, Nancy. It has such great advice for the Chinese New Year, I had to share! Besides who doesn’t want to hear about tips for making 2014, the Year of the Green Wood Horse, as spirited as it can be?
Let’s Bridge the Parenting Gap Together
I want to start a conversation today about parenting in the transformational paradigm we live in circa 2014.
Many of us are being called into humanitarian service, to live from a higher consciousness than our Silent Generation/Traditionalist parents, to recognize that we are all connected, and to do our best to come from a place of love instead of fear, of acceptance and camaraderie.
As a parent for 10 years now, I have done my best to impart these thought patterns to my children. I have tried to guide them rather than force them, to appeal to their intrinsic desires. I have encouraged them to use their voices to be heard, to feel validated and loved — to know that they are never alone and to give them tools to ground themselves in who they are. Despite my efforts, they have not bypassed the drama that can come with childhood.
In my darkest parenting hours I try to remember that they are on their own journey, and it is not for me to judge…but really? How can I not get frustrated with their choice of friends or association with people who don’t make them feel good about themselves? Or bothered by their choice not to bathe or brush their teeth without a fight, or their choice not to turn in their homework assignments or study for an exam? Isn’t it still my job to deliver them into adulthood with all the life skills they need to survive in the real world, regardless of spirituality? (I often tell myself, “She won’t walk down the aisle wearing dirty underwear.”) And what if I want them not just to survive, but to thrive? To experience the magic that living in the flow of life has to offer. Is it not up to me, as a transformational parent, to help them learn how to tap into that flow?
I started reading Marianne Williamson’s new book, A Year of Miracles. Today, divinely enough, I read,
“It is not my job to monitor anyone’s journey, to know what’s right or wrong for others, or to try to control their behavior. My salvation lies in deep acceptance of people exactly as they are, that I might know the inner peace that such acceptance brings. Amen.”
Here is my quagmire friends — I fully believe this principle when it comes to the adults in my life, but is this how I should interact with my daughters? Not monitor their lives, help them know what’s right or wrong, or control their behavior to some degree?
I have no answers or suggestions today really, simply an inquiry, an examination. How do we blend transformational principles (some may even say ideals) with real world scenarios when it comes to our children?
Deepak Chopra says, “The deepest desire in a parent’s heart is to see one’s child achieve success in life, yet how many of us realize that the most direct way to success is through spirit? In our society we don’t usually make that connection–quite the opposite. We teach our children how to survive, how to behave in order to earn our approval, how to defend themselves, how to compete, how to persist against disappointment, obstacles, and setbacks. Although believing in God is often considered a good thing, spirit has traditionally been set apart from success in daily life. This is a mistake, and it has had a profound effect on all our lives, from childhood on. Our responsibility as parents is therefore to place our children firmly on the journey of spirit. This is the best thing we can do to ensure their success in life, better than giving them money, a secure home, or even love and affection. I ask you to consider this spiritual notion of parenting, different though it may be from how you see your role now.”
He offers these seven practical principles to teach our children, for them to carry in their hearts and minds.
First Law: Everything is possible.
Second Law: If you want to get something, give it.
Third Law: When you make a choice, you change the future.
Fourth Law: Don’t say no–go with the flow.
Fifth Law: Every time you wish or want, you plant a seed.
Sixth Law: Enjoy the journey.
Seventh Law: You are here for a reason.
Deepak says, “A child raised with spiritual skills will be able to answer the most basic questions about how the universe works; she will understand the source of creativity both within and outside herself; she will be able to practice non-judgment, acceptance, and truth, which are the most valuable skills anyone can possess for dealing with other people; and she will be free from the crippling fear and anxiety about the meaning of life that is the secret dry rot inside the hearts of most adults, whether they can admit it or not.”
I love these seven principles. (In fact, I’m going to type them up and put them in their room…How The Universe Works!) But will this help them brush their teeth without an argument? I can’t help but feel a gap here between the physical world I live in and the one I believe is possible.
What are some ways you bridge the gap between your spiritual principles and your everyday experiences with your children? Let’s see if we can collaborate and create some tangible practices we can use during this evolutionary parenting transition. After all, we are in this together.
Love and blessings,
Shelby
How to Start the Conversations That Lead To Change
Making real change is a process. Starting that process with a simple conversation can lead to connection and understanding. Sally Kohn searches for common ground with her political foes by focusing on the compassion and humanity in everyone. Watch how she does it.
Gang Up for Good
I am so excited to have found his campaign…Secret’s Mean Stinks. If you have young girls in your life, check out their website to watch videos worth sharing, download posters and tip sheets, hear expert advice, and to get connected to a campaign causing positive change. I’m painting my pinky blue today!
TEDxManhattanBeach Invites Collaboration
Have you ever attended a TED or TEDx conference? I attended my first last year and it changed my life. It changed my thinking about education. It changed my thinking about what is possible for our children. It changed the way I look at things. So imagine my delight when I had the opportunity to collaborate on the team creating this year’s TEDx conference in my local city?
After months of prepping, coordinating and coaching, I helped present TEDxManhattanBeach’s 2013 Conference Imagine That! to a sold out audience. Attendees were treated to talks that came at creativity from all different angles. It truly was inspirational. But the biggest thing I walked away with was this notion of collaboration. Dr. Marco Villa, project manager for the Hyperloop, invited us all to get involved. Bill Welser from the RAND Corporation, encouraged many of us to help create planetary defense tools to destroy the asteroid coming to earth someday. Tattoo Artist turned inventor, Fred Giovannitti, encouraged us all to lend our talents to an eco-issue that means something to us and not to let our position in life stand in our way. Even comedy writer and Modern Family producer, Dunny Zuker, invited us to flex our comedy muscle and laugh together.
The common thread in each of these amazing talks was that we need each other. Each one of us brings a skill set to the table that is useful. I loved Bill Welser’s example when he pointed out that the Apollo missions were not going to happen using engineers alone. We needed behavioral scientists, nutritionists, physiologists, and a multitude of other –ists and -ologists to work with the rocket scientists and engineers in order to put together that successful program that ultimately made it to the moon and back. It wasn’t a one-dimensional problem and neither is the challenge of dealing with any one of the issues facing us today. Charlene Spretnak, author and relational thinker, shared evidence that we really are all connected, thus driving home the point that working together, collaborating, is how we’re going to not only survive, but thrive in the decades ahead.
I was walking home from school yesterday with my family when one of our neighbors thanked me for working on TEDxManhattanBeach. It didn’t stop there. Throughout the day people acknowledged what an inspiration this year’s conference was, and expressed their gratitude that I lent my talents to make it happen. I can’t tell you what an awesome feeling it was to know that I made a difference on such a grand scale. It has always been my dream to impact large audiences in a meaningful way — to inspire them to their full potential and to incite love and connection, and I didn’t have to do it all by myself! I was able to make my childhood dream come true by collaborating with a great group of people, each lending their own talents and gifts to the effort.
The fulfillment of my dream certainly didn’t look how I’d always imagined it, but like artist and architect, Alison Wright reminded us last weekend, it’s not what you look at but what you see that matters.
Celebrating Creativity
Imagine ideas that take you on an unexpected journey—a journey that inspires, disrupts, educates, and entertains. Imagine a day when ordinary people share extraordinary stories and creativity abounds. Imagine that!
Do you enjoy TED videos and TEDx events? Then join us November 16th. We have curated a group of live speakers who will inspire and inform you.
Good Advice For Children
I heard something beautiful yesterday from Produced by Faith author, DeVon Franklin, and I thought it was the perfect advice to pass onto our children. We can say to them, “You are in control of two things in life: 1 – How you prepare for what might happen, and 2 – how you respond to what just happened.” The moment things actually happen, DeVon says, belongs to God.
Living in The Eye of the Vortex
I was reading a forecast from Emmanuel Dagher that was so in alignment with my own feelings, that I felt moved to share it with you all. He says, “There is a palpable anticipation in the air that something BIG is about to manifest in our collective experience” and he goes on to compare this anticipation to a tornado. How right before a powerful storm is about to occur, there’s usually an inexplicable stillness that precedes it. This is a similar type of stillness that many of us are noticing right now.
The ‘tornado’ in this case is not something to fear, but rather something to embrace. Emmanuel says it’s about how we choose to react to this energy vortex; our reaction decides what our experience of it will be. When we react from a place of fear, worry, or mindlessness, we place ourselves on the outer edge of this vortex where the most discomfort and struggle happens. However, when we react from a place of calm, love and mindfulness, we place ourselves at the center – also known as the ‘eye’ of the vortex – where the most ease, grace and stillness happens.
I’d like to reprint the remainder of his forecast here because it presents some extremely useful information, especially if this conversation is new to you. He lays out the transformation of moving from ego-based living into heart-centered life so beautifully, that I couldn’t resist reprinting. He gives examples of what we can expect to see during the shift, and how it is safe to connect with the I AM/Source energy again. His forecast is long, but worth the read.
Passing the Baton
On an energetic level, there is a ‘passing of the baton’ occurring from the collective ego to the collective heart. The collective ego is exhausted. We can clearly see it all over the world.
The ego is realizing that it simply cannot survive in the old destructive patterns of control, domination and separation that it partook of and found great comfort in for so long. It’s important to remember that we learned great lessons from these old patterns, but we no longer need to keep recreating them in order to receive the lessons. We are ready to move on. During this time of ‘passing of the baton,’ things appear to be quite chaotic because the collective ego is having to graduate from a rigid state of existence into a flexible and open state of existence. So as a result of this transition, the ego has a tendency to go into freak-out mode.
This turnover can feel scary to the ego because it’s not used to change and it fears losing its identity in the process. So the ego is trying to firmly grip onto what little it still can of its old ways. This is showing up through fear tactics that the governments, big businesses, media and religious sects are making use of to try to keep humanity separated from its true nature. Now more than ever, we must not be distracted by the outside noise.
The actions of these governments, businesses, media outlets and religious sects are simply a mirror of how we have been treating ourselves. It’s not about a ‘them vs. us’ mentality. It’s about empowering ourselves with the knowing that we allowed ourselves to create these structures, and as quickly as we created them, we also have the power to change them. How do we do that? We do it by focusing on shifting the way we treat ourselves and the world around us.
We do it by recognizing that we are a global family. When the ego realizes how much it will gain, grow and experience as a result of letting go of the control, domination and separation that it was used to, it will instantly shift into a more conscious and open state of being. Then, the global structures we have put into place can begin to mirror our higher states of consciousness.
The Celestial Conversion
So, how is this passing of the baton manifesting itself? In the next several months, this conversion is manifesting itself as humanity moving away from ego driven intentions (control/structure/over-analysis) and more into the heart driven intentions (feeling/intuitive development.)
This shift is what I like to call a celestial conversion. Here are just a few things to look for as the celestial conversion continues to make its way up on the global stage:
• Emerging global consciousness
• Self-sustaining communities
• Higher transparency and accountability expected from governments/big businesses/pharmaceuticals/religious sects/media structures
• Innovative breakthroughs in technology and science
• Global gatherings that shift the power back to the people
• Collective fearlessness
• Thirst for more holistic and alternative therapies
• Healthy food initiatives
• Equality of all global citizens
• Monetary shiftsHere are just a few things to look for as the celestial conversion continues to make its way into our personal lives:
• Time speeding up
• Shifts in personal and professional relationships
• Changing of environment/relocation
• Fruition of projects/creative endeavors
• Feelings of anticipation/waves of heightened energy (may be mistaken as anxiety or moodiness)
• Higher insights, wisdom and awareness
• Physical, mental, emotional and financial healing
• Instant manifestations/synchronicities
• Reconnections/reunions
• More clarity
• Understanding what really matters/not sweating the small stuff
• Development of intuition and personal gifts/contributions
• Spiritual developmentTrusting the Divine I AM
What would life look like if we allowed ourselves to fully trust our process, our journey and ultimately our Divine I AM presence? Can we trust that we are the same exact I AM presence that is Source Energy which flows through everything and that IS everything? What would happen if we unburdened ourselves of all the fear-based qualities our mind identified with for so long, and opened ourselves to the vastness of who we really are? Would life still look the same, and would we have anything to lose along the way?
We as a global family are coming back to the fullness of who we are, and the biggest hurdle to embracing ourselves (including our process, journey, gifts, talents and desires) completely up until now has been that our mind has not been able to trust the I AM/Source that created it in the first place. So why the lack of trust?
The answer is simple. It’s because throughout the ages, we have tried to humanize the I AM/Source Energy by projecting different faces of men onto it to make it a bit easier for our mind to digest and understand. When we are born into this existence, we as children look at our parents or caretakers as the ‘God/I AM’ figure in our life. We trust that these figures will provide for our every need. But then as we grow, we start to notice that these role-models in our lives have personalities that can sometimes show up as being angry, judgmental, mean, hurtful, imperfect, or someone who makes decisions that may cause us distress, disappointment and trauma.
So, in the moments when we realize that these role-models we placed our trust in can no longer show up as the perfect idea we expected them to be, something within us changes. There’s usually a nonverbal agreement or vow that we make with ourselves to never trust anyone or anything except for ourselves again. And because these caretakers were supposed to be the God/I AM figures in our lives, we began to see the actual I AM/Source Energy itself as something we can no longer trust completely either. We put a face on Source, and this has been the cause of great fears and disappointments through the ages.
The truth is that our caretakers, their caretakers and so forth on down through the ages were not taught to remember and operate from their truest Divine nature as they took care of us. They were not self-actualized fully to operate from their truest selves. They were in their humanity, the part of them that forgot its true omnipotent nature, and they did the best that they could with what they had at the time. So knowing this now, we can begin placing our trust in I AM/Source Energy again. The I AM/Source Energy has never wavered in its love for us and never will. It is Unconditional Love in its highest and most pristine form.
This energy always has supported, loved and offered guidance to us every step of the way, even when we weren’t paying attention. To receive all the blessings that Source Energy creates for us in every second of our lives, all that is asked of us is to move out of our own way, trust and be willing to receive. This powerful combination will also serve us well as we move through the major personal and global revelations as they continue to unfold over the next several months. Get ready, it’s going to be an exciting ride!
Evolving Beyond Ego
Integral Enlightenment founder, Craig Hamilton, is a pioneer in the emerging field of evolutionary spirituality. In his inspired writings, talks, and teachings, he calls us to awaken beyond the confines of the separate ego and dedicate our lives to the further evolution of consciousness itself.
I am passing on to you a recording of his encore webcast of The Key To Evolving Beyond Ego. In this seminar, Craig shares a profound but simple shift in orientation that can enable us to get past the most basic and persistent barrier to our spiritual awakening and transformation.
This primitive part of our nature is left over from our early evolution, and it acts like a ceiling holding down our highest human potential. The ego that he speaks about is not our personality or the healthy functional ego needed to navigate life, it is a specific part of the self that is out-moded and clings to a narrow idea of who we are and what’s possible in the world. This ego hampers our most earnest and heartfelt efforts to evolve our lives and the world. But by engaging the process explored in this seminar, we can leave behind the limitations of ego that have plagued humanity for eons.
I love how Craig explains it. He says, “It’s like getting a software ‘upgrade’ from these ancient instincts of our animal past into an entirely new way of being.”
He offers practical tools and practices we can try right away — to bring our daily life into greater alignment with our deepest aspirations.
You can listen to this recording online or download it here.
Lastly, please feel free to share this audio with anyone you know who might also be looking for the next step on their evolutionary journey!
Here’s to our enlightened future together!
queen of connection | Shelby L. Phillips 