Posts filed under ‘Spirituality’

Being a Fully Functioning Person

 

We’ve all heard the term “fully-functioning person” but what does it actually mean?

Humanist psychologist, Carl Rogers believed that we are all born with an “Actualizing Tendency.” This actualizing tendency is our innate tendency, our core desire, to fulfill all of our needs both physically and mentally, to express our true selves, and most importantly to become all that we are capable of becoming! He said that our personalities were simply an expression of this actualizing tendency.

He went on to say that we are all striving to fully release our actualizing tendency and in order for that to occur, we must experience three things.

patient_centred-therapy

The first — “unconditional positive regard.” Unconditional positive regard is a lot like unconditional love, for it is where we are loved by another with no strings or conditions attached, and no matter what we do we still feel respected, comforted and loved. Unconditional positive regard has the ability to change people’s lives and it’s never too late to feel its positive effects.Benefit of Empathy 01 - Carl Rogers  feels damn good

The second — empathy. Rogers said that people become
more fulfilled by interacting with people who are empathic towards them. People who are sensitive listeners and understanding of another’s true feelings are said to be empathic.

The third — genuineness. Being genuine means being open with your feelings and dropping all pretenses and facades. Rogers felt that we can help others simply by being present for them as the authentic individuals we are.

If our actualizing tendency is fully released, a person is said to be a “fully-functioning person.” A person who is fully functioning is a person who is living in accordance with his or her actualizing tendency — being true to one’s self versus being true to other people’s values or conditions of worth, having their needs met all the way around, and achieving their full potential.

I really resonate with Carl Roger’s work, even though it was ground-breaking over five decades ago. He believed that people are like sunflower seeds…once planted in rich soil and given enough sunshine and water, they will grow into strong and beautiful flowers — that given the right environment all human beings will flourish. (Did you see Trading Spaces with Eddie Murphy?)

Benefit 2 Rogers copyMoreover, Rogers believed as I do, that we are all born with natural capacities for growth and fulfillment. I love that he said we were all endowed with an innate sense — basically our gut instinct, our intuition — that allows us to genuinely evaluate what is good or bad for us. I feel we need to remind ourselves that it’s wise to listen to our own internal guidance system. Who better to help navigate our life? Lastly, he validates the theory for me that we are connected when he says we really do need to be loved, liked or accepted by those around us.

So question. Do you help people become fully functioning? Are you an understanding listener? Are you free from pretense and facades with people? What if we gave each other the gifts of positive regard, empathy and genuineness? What if we honestly believed that people could do great things? What do you think would happen? I say let’s try it and find out. Let’s create a rich environment and watch human beings flourish!

December 10, 2015 at 8:07 am 1 comment

Free The World of Limiting Stereotypes

Using film as a catalyst for cultural transformation, The Representation Project inspires individuals and communities to challenge and overcome limiting stereotypes so that everyone, regardless of gender, race, class, age, sexual orientation, or circumstance, can fulfill their human potential.

From the dynamic team that brought you Miss Representation, the film about the media selling the idea that girls’ and women’s value lies in their youth, beauty, and sexuality and not in their capacity as leaders, are bringing you a new film — The Mask You Live In, which follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity.

Mask-Infographic1Did you know research shows compared to girls, boys in the U.S. are more likely to be diagnosed with a behavior disorder, prescribed stimulant medications, fail out of school, binge drink, commit a violent crime, and/or take their own lives? They consistently hear de-sensitizing messages like “Be a man!” “Man-up!” and “Boys don’t cry.” Sadly many are buying into a culture that doesn’t value caring, relationships or empathy…qualities our society has “feminized.” But these are not feminine qualities, they’re human ones.

Whether you’re a teacher bringing the films to your classroom, a young person challenging sexist media, or a small business owner changing your company culture, check out the new and engaging resources available at TheRepresentationProject.org.

October 14, 2015 at 9:31 pm Leave a comment

Wise are those…

Wise are those who examine

the content of what’s passing through their awareness

to discover those subtle,

subliminal holdings

of which we would otherwise be unaware.

September 15, 2015 at 4:00 pm Leave a comment

Hospitality Is An Art

I recently read that hospitality is the art of making others feel welcome, comfortable, and at home. It’s the talent for spreading warmth and kindness that will always be remembered.

Pouring alcohol into shoe

This is my philosophy when it comes to gathering friends and family, this is what my work is based upon. I love that big companies like Chinet agree.

You know, being “social” is more than just liking, sharing and tagging in online social feeds. Chinet invites us to remember what being social used to mean. To me this is evidence that the art of hospitality may be making a come back. Enjoy their new TV campaign and remember to #besocial.

For ways to infuse hospitality into your parties that allow for connection and community, order The Enlightened Party Planner: Guides to Creating Parties From the Heart book series. Reading the first book, The Six Elements to a Successful Party, will provide you with an easy six-step recipe for making your guests feel special.

June 5, 2015 at 5:49 am Leave a comment

A Heartfelt Prayer to Mothers Around the World

Parent Connection series. Design composed of graceful profile lines of mother and child as a metaphor on the subject of parenting, motherhood, human connection and familyToday is the day when we pause to give a heartfelt thank you and prayer to the very special women in our lives who gave us the gift of life. Archangel Michael says, “Mothers are truly God’s co-creators and are to be revered.” So thank you moms all over the world for giving of yourselves, for your sacrifice, your guidance, your admiration, and your unconditional love. Your children are forever grateful. May you feel honored by your accomplishments that walk the earth and enjoy being celebrated on this glorious Mother’s Day. Amen.

May 10, 2015 at 5:17 pm Leave a comment

An Error Does Not Become a Mistake Until You Refuse To Correct It

April 24, 2015 at 5:59 pm 1 comment

A Message From Michael

“It is vitally important that you learn to trust your own inner guidance once more. A loving and grateful heart purifies the consciousness, and creates tranquility and peace of mind. It develops into a constant State of Being and not just an occasional practice.”

April 22, 2015 at 12:53 am 1 comment

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Shelby L. Phillips

As an intuitive transformational messenger of hope, a communicative wife of 23 years, and an open-hearted mother of two, I take pleasure in telling good news stories, connecting people to the seven dimensions of well-being, and inspiring us to love ourselves and each other because life really is worth celebrating! Find out more about me at ShelbyPhillipsConnects.com.

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