Posts filed under ‘Connection’
Shopping For The Holidays
My friends at MissRepresentation.org have been diligently working to challenge the media to portray women and girls in a positive light, to show them expressing important ideas and opinions, instead of being hyper-sexualized and objectified.
I stand with MissRepresentation.org, ToGetHerThere.org, SeeJane.org, and many others, who believe in that inspiring future. With MissRep’s recent victory in persuading Spirit Halloween to remove unnecessarily sexualized language describing children’s costumes from their website, worldwide film screenings reaching thousands of viewers, and recent power plays on Black Friday to avoid sexiest products, I’d say progress is being made.
To that end, with December upon us, it’s essential that we continue to stay aware of the media we are consuming and sharing with our friends and family. We hold the purse strings. We vote with our dollars. We can send the biggest message of all by NOT buying. Millions of movies, books, music, magazines and video games will be given as gifts over the next few weeks. We must be conscious of the way our women and girls, our sisters, cousins, mothers and friends, are represented in every THING we buy and make sure to support products that inspire and empower the gender.
A Mighty Girl.com has lists of girl-positive gifts in almost every category of media — check it out! #MediaWeLike on Pinterest highlights media recommended by the MissRep community for people of all ages. Lastly, of course, MissRepresentation itself is currently available on DVD and can be a great way to talk about media awareness with the ones you love because Media Literacy is an important human issue.
So as you shop this holiday season, keep in mind the old character building adage what I say and how I say it, tells others the kind of person I am. Before you buy ask yourself this question, “Does this gift acrately reflect the kind of notions, ideas and values I want to perpetuate in the collective consciousness of life?” If so, then give freely and with an open heart. If not, then thank you for being honest, and maybe you can find something else that better reflects who you are and the kind of world you’d rather live in. We are the change. Happy shopping.
Easy Gratitude This Thanksgiving
We had an earthquake in Southern California a little after 6 am this morning, and my first thought was, “Is this the big one?” My next thought as my bed was rocking, “I’m so grateful for the time I’ve had here on earth!”
How interesting that on this 2012 Thanksgiving morning Mother Earth would shake things up a bit perhaps to remind us just how precious life is and just how limited our time together might be.
Rather than play it safe again this year around the Thanksgiving table (my family isn’t big on sharing themselves or praying), I’ve decided to do more than just a “thank you for coming toast.” Perhaps this year we’ll start with a gratitude toast straight from the heart to set the tone for the evening, and to make each person feel welcomed and apart of something special.
I’ll also have my guests write what their grateful for down on paper before we sit down for dinner. The kids can collect them in a basket, and between dinner and dessert (my family likes to eat while the food is hot) we’ll have each person pull a slip of paper from the basket and read it aloud. This will save folks the embarrassment of having to share their own feelings, and yet still infuses some soul into the event.
So that’s what I’ll do today with my family, but with you my friends and readers I’d like to say how grateful I am for you right here and now. Grateful for you tuning in and reading my deeper ways of connecting, playing and celebrating. As Reverend Angela says, “Thank you for your spiritual bravery in stepping away from the status quo and daring to live a larger life, a spacious life wherein you claim your divine right to all that you can imagine.” That’s what its all about for me. As we step into our own light, we allow others to do the same. Thanks for playing big with me and for that I am so deeply grateful.
How will you make the most of your gratitude day?
The Power of Connection
I received this the other day with a note saying, “Anxious to see how you handle this.” It’s an email that has been floating around the Internet in honor of Friendship Week. The original message wants the recipient to pass the story along, so I am, to my readers. It bring tears to my eyes and reminds me of the power of connection. We never truly know the difference we make in someone’s life. So wield that power carefully and let’s be good to each other. Enjoy the story!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him
so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”
He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen
him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I be came best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to NC State. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!”
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and
smiled. “Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly
your friends…I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
“Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.
Finding Connection with Appreciation Texting
Get connected with your partner — with Appreciation Texting. Check it out. Based on Michael Fiore’s eBook, “Text the Romance Back: The 30 Day Digital Relationship Transformer,” appreciation texting has the power to bring you and your partner closer, and it’s so easy.
You can always find out more at YouCanPlanAParty.com
queen of connection | Shelby L. Phillips 