Posts filed under ‘Parenting’

Creating a Counterforce to the World’s Despair

From my mentor, Marianne Williamson. This is my heart…

Gravity exists on many levels, both physical and emotional. There is a force in the universe that literally weighs things down.

silhouette of a peopleIn order to counter gravity in the physical body, we physically exercise to develop strong muscles. Emotionally and spiritually, things work the same way. We nullify the effects of emotional gravity through accumulated repetitions of positive thoughts. Where the world says things like, “This can never happen,” we repeat to ourselves that with God, all things are possible.

Strong physical muscles give us the power to navigate the external world more effectively, while strong spiritual muscles give us the power to navigate the internal world. With physical musculature, we gain the power to move; with internal musculature, we gain the power to sit still, to be nonreactive, to be centered and calm and wise.

There are many meditative practices, from Transcendental Meditation to completing the workbook A Course in Miracles to others that are rooted in traditions like the Christian, Jewish, Buddhist faiths and so forth. What is important to note is that meditation is more than mere deep relaxation. We don’t just feel relaxed after meditation. Brain scans have proven an actual shift in brain-wave patterns. The religious call to a “new mind” is not just a metaphor; it is a call to become our more peaceful, creative and productive self.

Evening PrayerWith the modern world having become so frantic, it is easy to become as frenetic as the world around us. The problem with that, though, is that without calm, there is no wisdom, no impulse control and no real peace of mind. We’re more likely to become emotionally reactive and unclear in our thinking. Without deep peace of mind, we cannot be the people we are capable of being, and we cannot live the lives we are capable of living.

The power of meditation is of little use if only understood intellectually. When this spiritual exercise is built into our everyday, practical lifestyle, it becomes utterly transformative. It’s not enough just to know how important healthy food and exercise are; we must actually eat well and exercise regularly to enjoy the benefits of those habits. So, it’s not enough to just know the power of prayer and/or meditation; we must practice these rituals, through daily devotion.

Praying WomanWe routinely wake up in the morning and take a bath or shower, because we don’t want to take yesterday’s dirt on our body into the new day. Yet unless we pray, meditate, do inspirational readings or some other practice of spiritual alignment in the morning, we take yesterday’s burdens on our mind into the new day. Are body and soul not equally important?

We find excuses for why we’re not doing our spiritual exercise, just like we find excuses for not doing our physical exercise. But, in both cases, once we start doing our exercises, we start to crave their continuance. Often, people say they don’t have the time to meditate; but, in fact, meditation slows time. Time, in the words of Albert Einstein, is “an illusion of consciousness.” Shallow thinking literally speeds up our experience of time, while deep and peaceful thinking slows it down. We inhabit time more effectively when our mind and heart are clear.

Earth connectedSuch a world view is like a mental filter, leading us to experience the world through a lens of love instead of fear. Fear is the thinking that dominates the world, but love is who we really are. Grounding ourselves each day in a deep remembrance of who we really are, we actualize the spiritual power that lies latent within all of us. We were created to love, and in loving we are fulfilling the purpose of our lives. With every thought we think, we either extend love or project fear into the world. Taking a few simple principles and applying them to our daily lives lifts us above the turmoil of the world:

Ask every morning of your God: “Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say, and to whom?”

Before you go into work, into a meeting, into a party or into any situation at all, consciously blast everyone who is going to be there with love. Just as light casts out darkness, so does love cast out fear. You can’t send love to someone and, at the same time, worry about what they will think about you, fear what’s going to happen or succumb to controlling, judgmental or manipulative thoughts. The presence of love literally casts out neurotic, fear-based thoughts.

As you go through the day, anywhere you might be, look at someone’s face and silently say to them, “The love in me salutes the love in you.” I defy you to do this for two minutes each day and not become happier.

No one needs to be reminded today that we are in need of a counterforce to the world’s despair. All the hatred and unnecessary suffering that have gripped our planet are a challenge to our species to evolve and grow—to become who we are capable of being, so we can rise up with greater power and behave with greater wisdom. Depositphotos_5765168_xsWhen any of us does this individually, our lives transform. And when we do it collectively, our planet will transform. Love will not just heal your life or mine. Love will heal the world.

November 22, 2014 at 7:32 pm 1 comment

The Representation Project: Rewrite the Story

Teaching our children Media Literacy Tools is an important cause to me. Studies show that American youth today consume more than eleven hours of media a day, and what they see in that media is an overwhelming norm of objectified or hypersexualized women. This misrepresentation has long-term effects. For example, after reading a beauty magazine for only three minutes, 75% of teenage girls feel depressed, guilty, and shameful. With Miss Representation Curriculum 2.0 – designed to engage and activate young people in new ways – The Representation Project hopes to create a real pattern interruption to change behavior and expand what is possible for young women and girls. Check out their website to find out how you can help be part of the solution. Or click here to donate today and give the gift of media literacy curriculum, discussion guides, and educational tools to students, parents, coaches, caregivers, and mentors.

November 21, 2014 at 11:35 pm Leave a comment

Start a Robust Conversation With Your Teen About Healthy Relationships

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October 17, 2014 at 7:13 pm Leave a comment

Eradicate Illiteracy, Really? Yep! Pass It On

For those of you who are passionate about kids and education, I wanted to share something I believe is an amazing mission and goal that XPRIZE launched this week.

XPRIZE strives to make the impossible possible and have tackled some of the world’s grandest challenges. This includes private spaceflight, 100 MPGe cars, oil-cleanup technology and most recently, competitions to go back to the Moon, address ocean acidification, and revolutionize healthcare.

This week a “Global Learning XPRIZE” was launched. This is a $15 million competition to create Open Source software that will teach a child to read, write, and perform basic numeracy within 18 months without the aid of a teacher. (This is not designed to replace teachers, but to provide an educational solution where little or none exists.)

According to UNESCO figures, 250 million kids in the world today lack basic literacy skills. As you can imagine, this XPRIZE could have a profound impact on these kids and bringing nations out of poverty.

An important part of this XPRIZE is a crowdfunding campaign that they are running to raise an additional $500,000 that will go towards furthering the impact and success of the prize. This money will go towards additional testing of the finalist’s technologies with more kids in more villages and towns, building infrastructure to help teams collaborative effectively, growing a global community of developers, designers, advocates and more, and investing in an open technology platform for society that will live on long past the conclusion of this XPRIZE.

I believe this is a tremendously valuable XPRIZE, and I would like to personally encourage you to go and contribute what you can at http://igg.me/at/learningxprize/x – there are a range of perks that might capture your interest too.

You can also get involved in this worthy project yourself; spreading the word, creating a team, sharing your knowledge, simply by going to http://learning.xprize.org/get-involved.

We can do this, and together we can achieve even more!

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September 24, 2014 at 7:23 pm Leave a comment

Open Letter to Mom’s

“If every mom in the world knew how awesome they were,                                         every problem in the world would be fixed!”

If you’re a mom, or have one, you gotta watch this! Kid President offers easy, useful advice that will make you think, laugh and cry. I love this!

February 6, 2014 at 6:50 pm Leave a comment

Let’s Bridge the Parenting Gap Together

322957-Generation-1326819400-194-640x480I want to start a conversation today about parenting in the transformational paradigm we live in circa 2014.

Many of us are being called into humanitarian service, to live from a higher consciousness than our Silent Generation/Traditionalist parents, to recognize that we are all connected, and to do our best to come from a place of love instead of fear, of acceptance and camaraderie.

As a parent for 10 years now, I have done my best to impart these thought patterns to my children. I have tried to guide them rather than force them, to appeal to their intrinsic desires. I have encouraged them to use their voices to be heard, to feel validated and loved — to know that they are never alone and to give them tools to ground themselves in who they are. Despite my efforts, they have not bypassed the drama that can come with childhood.

391787_10151391707400816_598351814_nIn my darkest parenting hours I try to remember that they are on their own journey, and it is not for me to judge…but really? How can I not get frustrated with their choice of friends or association with people who don’t make them feel good about themselves? Or bothered by their choice not to bathe or brush their teeth without a fight, or their choice not to turn in their homework assignments or study for an exam? Isn’t it still my job to deliver them into adulthood with all the life skills they need to survive in the real world, regardless of spirituality? (I often tell myself, “She won’t walk down the aisle wearing dirty underwear.”) And what if I want them not just to survive, but to thrive? To experience the magic that living in the flow of life has to offer. Is it not up to me, as a transformational parent, to help them learn how to tap into that flow?

I started reading Marianne Williamson’s new book, A Year of Miracles. Today, divinely enough, I read,

“It is not my job to monitor anyone’s journey, to know what’s right or wrong for others, or to try to control their behavior. My salvation lies in deep acceptance of people exactly as they are, that I might know the inner peace that such acceptance brings. Amen.”

Here is my quagmire friends — I fully believe this principle when it comes to the adults in my life, but is this how I should interact with my daughters? Not monitor their lives, help them know what’s right or wrong, or control their behavior to some degree?

I have no answers or suggestions today really, simply an inquiry, an examination. How do we blend transformational principles (some may even say ideals) with real world scenarios when it comes to our children?

540773_350377488387999_1908534520_n.jpg?width=403&height=400Deepak Chopra says, “The deepest desire in a parent’s heart is to see one’s child achieve success in life, yet how many of us realize that the most direct way to success is through spirit? In our society we don’t usually make that connection–quite the opposite. We teach our children how to survive, how to behave in order to earn our approval, how to defend themselves, how to compete, how to persist against disappointment, obstacles, and setbacks. Although believing in God is often considered a good thing, spirit has traditionally been set apart from success in daily life. This is a mistake, and it has had a profound effect on all our lives, from childhood on. Our responsibility as parents is therefore to place our children firmly on the journey of spirit. This is the best thing we can do to ensure their success in life, better than giving them money, a secure home, or even love and affection. I ask you to consider this spiritual notion of parenting, different though it may be from how you see your role now.”

He offers these seven practical principles to teach our children, for them to carry in their hearts and minds.

First Law:  Everything is possible. 

Second Law:  If you want to get something, give it. 

Third Law:  When you make a choice, you change the future. 

Fourth Law:  Don’t say no–go with the flow. 

Fifth Law:  Every time you wish or want, you plant a seed. 

Sixth Law:  Enjoy the journey. 

Seventh Law:  You are here for a reason. 

Deepak says, “A child raised with spiritual skills will be able to answer the most basic questions about how the universe works; she will understand the source of creativity both within and outside herself; she will be able to practice non-judgment, acceptance, and truth, which are the most valuable skills anyone can possess for dealing with other people; and she will be free from the crippling fear and anxiety about the meaning of life that is the secret dry rot inside the hearts of most adults, whether they can admit it or not.”

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I love these seven principles. (In fact, I’m going to type them up and put them in their room…How The Universe Works!) But will this help them brush their teeth without an argument? I can’t help but feel a gap here between the physical world I live in and the one I believe is possible.

What are some ways you bridge the gap between your spiritual principles and your everyday experiences with your children? Let’s see if we can collaborate and create some tangible practices we can use during this evolutionary parenting transition. After all, we are in this together.

Love and blessings,

Shelby

January 28, 2014 at 7:51 pm Leave a comment

Gang Up for Good

Billboard_Mean-Stinks_Follow-Us_LargeI am so excited to have found his campaign…Secret’s Mean Stinks. If you have young girls in your life, check out their website to watch videos worth sharing, download posters and tip sheets, hear expert advice, and to get connected to a campaign causing positive change. I’m painting my pinky blue today!

December 10, 2013 at 10:40 pm Leave a comment

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Shelby L. Phillips

As an intuitive transformational messenger of hope, a communicative wife of 25 years, and an open-hearted mother of two, I take pleasure in telling good news stories, connecting people to the seven dimensions of well-being, and inspiring us to love ourselves and each other because life really is worth celebrating! Find out more about me at ShelbyPhillipsConnects.com

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