Posts tagged ‘Parenting’
A Heartfelt Prayer to Mothers Around the World
Today is the day when we pause to give a heartfelt thank you and prayer to the very special women in our lives who gave us the gift of life. Archangel Michael says, “Mothers are truly God’s co-creators and are to be revered.” So thank you moms all over the world for giving of yourselves, for your sacrifice, your guidance, your admiration, and your unconditional love. Your children are forever grateful. May you feel honored by your accomplishments that walk the earth and enjoy being celebrated on this glorious Mother’s Day. Amen.
Let’s Bridge the Parenting Gap Together
I want to start a conversation today about parenting in the transformational paradigm we live in circa 2014.
Many of us are being called into humanitarian service, to live from a higher consciousness than our Silent Generation/Traditionalist parents, to recognize that we are all connected, and to do our best to come from a place of love instead of fear, of acceptance and camaraderie.
As a parent for 10 years now, I have done my best to impart these thought patterns to my children. I have tried to guide them rather than force them, to appeal to their intrinsic desires. I have encouraged them to use their voices to be heard, to feel validated and loved — to know that they are never alone and to give them tools to ground themselves in who they are. Despite my efforts, they have not bypassed the drama that can come with childhood.
In my darkest parenting hours I try to remember that they are on their own journey, and it is not for me to judge…but really? How can I not get frustrated with their choice of friends or association with people who don’t make them feel good about themselves? Or bothered by their choice not to bathe or brush their teeth without a fight, or their choice not to turn in their homework assignments or study for an exam? Isn’t it still my job to deliver them into adulthood with all the life skills they need to survive in the real world, regardless of spirituality? (I often tell myself, “She won’t walk down the aisle wearing dirty underwear.”) And what if I want them not just to survive, but to thrive? To experience the magic that living in the flow of life has to offer. Is it not up to me, as a transformational parent, to help them learn how to tap into that flow?
I started reading Marianne Williamson’s new book, A Year of Miracles. Today, divinely enough, I read,
“It is not my job to monitor anyone’s journey, to know what’s right or wrong for others, or to try to control their behavior. My salvation lies in deep acceptance of people exactly as they are, that I might know the inner peace that such acceptance brings. Amen.”
Here is my quagmire friends — I fully believe this principle when it comes to the adults in my life, but is this how I should interact with my daughters? Not monitor their lives, help them know what’s right or wrong, or control their behavior to some degree?
I have no answers or suggestions today really, simply an inquiry, an examination. How do we blend transformational principles (some may even say ideals) with real world scenarios when it comes to our children?
Deepak Chopra says, “The deepest desire in a parent’s heart is to see one’s child achieve success in life, yet how many of us realize that the most direct way to success is through spirit? In our society we don’t usually make that connection–quite the opposite. We teach our children how to survive, how to behave in order to earn our approval, how to defend themselves, how to compete, how to persist against disappointment, obstacles, and setbacks. Although believing in God is often considered a good thing, spirit has traditionally been set apart from success in daily life. This is a mistake, and it has had a profound effect on all our lives, from childhood on. Our responsibility as parents is therefore to place our children firmly on the journey of spirit. This is the best thing we can do to ensure their success in life, better than giving them money, a secure home, or even love and affection. I ask you to consider this spiritual notion of parenting, different though it may be from how you see your role now.”
He offers these seven practical principles to teach our children, for them to carry in their hearts and minds.
First Law: Everything is possible.
Second Law: If you want to get something, give it.
Third Law: When you make a choice, you change the future.
Fourth Law: Don’t say no–go with the flow.
Fifth Law: Every time you wish or want, you plant a seed.
Sixth Law: Enjoy the journey.
Seventh Law: You are here for a reason.
Deepak says, “A child raised with spiritual skills will be able to answer the most basic questions about how the universe works; she will understand the source of creativity both within and outside herself; she will be able to practice non-judgment, acceptance, and truth, which are the most valuable skills anyone can possess for dealing with other people; and she will be free from the crippling fear and anxiety about the meaning of life that is the secret dry rot inside the hearts of most adults, whether they can admit it or not.”
I love these seven principles. (In fact, I’m going to type them up and put them in their room…How The Universe Works!) But will this help them brush their teeth without an argument? I can’t help but feel a gap here between the physical world I live in and the one I believe is possible.
What are some ways you bridge the gap between your spiritual principles and your everyday experiences with your children? Let’s see if we can collaborate and create some tangible practices we can use during this evolutionary parenting transition. After all, we are in this together.
Love and blessings,
Shelby
A Reason Not To Judge Ourselves & Others
WE LIVE IN A VIBRATIONAL UNIVERSE,
AND WE CAN ONLY EVER BE WHO WE ARE.
AT SOME POINT, THAT HAS TO BE GOOD ENOUGH.
Let’s teach this to our children.
Women and Politics: A New Conversation
I attended an event with Marianne Williamson this weekend called Sister Giant, and my life will never be the same. I learned so much. I learned that the US incarcerates more of its people than any other nation in the world, or any nation in history. Think about that for a moment. I learned that our military budget is almost twice that of all other nations of the world combined. Let that resonate in your soul for a minute. I learned that we have 300 million people in this country, 46 million of which live in poverty and 16.1 million of them are children of these United States of America. Let that sink into your heart. Further, I also learned that 17,000 children on earth die of starvation every single day, we are the only species systematically destroying its own habitat, and two billion people – almost a third of the world’s population – live on less than 2 dollars a day. And there’s so much more to talk about.
Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” So brilliant! We need more than a new politics; we need a new worldview. We need to shift from an economic to a humanitarian organizing principle for human civilization. And women, en masse, should be saying so.
For those of us who have spent the last 10, 15, 20 years or more pursuing self-growth, personal growth, spiritual or transformational work…our time has come. Our time has come to take all that we have learned, all that we have accomplished and bring it forth into the world. Into a time a great healing. It is time to start a new conversation of possibility, a shift in perspective that we have yet to see, but we the American people are ready for. To merge love and healing with politics. Politics are the possibility for peace on the planet. They are the means to the end, but only if we come from our hearts, use our voices, and speak our truths. Do I have all the answers today? No. Will I in 2024 when I run for Congress? Probably not. But I’ll be aligned with what feels authentically right to me, and I will be working to put human beings before profits, and by God, as Marianne Williamson says, “Our babies will be fed!”
I am thankful to be in this place, at this time, thinking these thoughts, in this body, with such wondrous emotions! I am grateful for it all.
After sharing my experience and my commitment with my best friend Elizabeth, she said, “We are united sisters standing tall, seeing and speaking the truth with compassion and conviction. And as we stand tall we free ourselves from all suppression and oppression igniting a new paradigm that is for the goodness and well being of all concerned. And so it is!”
And so it is!
How To Fight with Your Children
I have the awesome privilege of raising two head strong little girls. My challenge is how to bring them up them without squashing their own inner guidance system. Daily I walk the line between allowing them to find their own way and trust their feelings about things, and arguing why showers and teeth brushing are an important part of good hygiene!
As the mother of 8 and 6 1/2 year old children of the now, I find solace knowing that I’m not alone when my thoughtful efforts to calmly guide my daughters towards positive resolution are thwarted and I am left only with my proudest parenting moments which include shouting at the top of my lungs and the dropping of the f-bomb ringing in my ears. It’s comforting to know that other mommies have daughters who also know everything, and that nothing is ever fair in other households as well.
I know this should make me feel better, but alas, frustrated and annoyed with myself mostly, I sought guidance. The coaching I received was so profound and beautiful I had to share.
“It’s good to remember that there are benefits to sparring with others, for competition brings out your best and unleashes your passion and commitment in what you believe. It teaches you to respect others and to not mindlessly impose your will on them. It is suggested that when you do battle with others you:
- Fight fairly
- Learn from the conflict
- Don’t compete just to let off steam
- Fight for progress
- Fight for higher understanding for all concerned”
queen of connection | Shelby L. Phillips 