queen of connection | Shelby L. Phillips

How To Fight with Your Children

August 9, 2012 at 8:12 pm 2 comments

I have the awesome privilege of raising two head strong little girls. My challenge is how to bring them up them without squashing their own inner guidance system. Daily I walk the line between allowing them to find their own way and trust their feelings about things, and arguing why showers and teeth brushing are an important part of good hygiene!

As the mother of 8 and 6 1/2 year old children of the now, I find solace knowing that I’m not alone when my thoughtful efforts to calmly guide my daughters towards positive resolution are thwarted and I am left only with my proudest parenting moments which include shouting at the top of my lungs and the dropping of the f-bomb ringing in my ears. It’s comforting to know that other mommies have daughters who also know everything, and that nothing is ever fair in other households as well.

I know this should make me feel better, but alas, frustrated and annoyed with myself mostly, I sought guidance. The coaching I received was so profound and beautiful I had to share.

“It’s good to remember that there are benefits to sparring with others, for competition brings out your best and unleashes your passion and commitment in what you believe. It teaches you to respect others and to not mindlessly impose your will on them. It is suggested that when you do battle with others you:

1. Fight fairly 
2. Learn from the conflict
3. Don’t compete just to let off steam
4. Fight for progress
5. Fight for higher understanding for all concerned”

Entry filed under: Parenting, Relationships. Tags: child development, conflict resolution, connection, Parenting.