Easy Gratitude This Thanksgiving
We had an earthquake in Southern California a little after 6 am this morning, and my first thought was, “Is this the big one?” My next thought as my bed was rocking, “I’m so grateful for the time I’ve had here on earth!”
How interesting that on this 2012 Thanksgiving morning Mother Earth would shake things up a bit perhaps to remind us just how precious life is and just how limited our time together might be.
Rather than play it safe again this year around the Thanksgiving table (my family isn’t big on sharing themselves or praying), I’ve decided to do more than just a “thank you for coming toast.” Perhaps this year we’ll start with a gratitude toast straight from the heart to set the tone for the evening, and to make each person feel welcomed and apart of something special.
I’ll also have my guests write what their grateful for down on paper before we sit down for dinner. The kids can collect them in a basket, and between dinner and dessert (my family likes to eat while the food is hot) we’ll have each person pull a slip of paper from the basket and read it aloud. This will save folks the embarrassment of having to share their own feelings, and yet still infuses some soul into the event.
So that’s what I’ll do today with my family, but with you my friends and readers I’d like to say how grateful I am for you right here and now. Grateful for you tuning in and reading my deeper ways of connecting, playing and celebrating. As Reverend Angela says, “Thank you for your spiritual bravery in stepping away from the status quo and daring to live a larger life, a spacious life wherein you claim your divine right to all that you can imagine.” That’s what its all about for me. As we step into our own light, we allow others to do the same. Thanks for playing big with me and for that I am so deeply grateful.
How will you make the most of your gratitude day?
Women and Politics: A New Conversation
I attended an event with Marianne Williamson this weekend called Sister Giant, and my life will never be the same. I learned so much. I learned that the US incarcerates more of its people than any other nation in the world, or any nation in history. Think about that for a moment. I learned that our military budget is almost twice that of all other nations of the world combined. Let that resonate in your soul for a minute. I learned that we have 300 million people in this country, 46 million of which live in poverty and 16.1 million of them are children of these United States of America. Let that sink into your heart. Further, I also learned that 17,000 children on earth die of starvation every single day, we are the only species systematically destroying its own habitat, and two billion people – almost a third of the world’s population – live on less than 2 dollars a day. And there’s so much more to talk about.
Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” So brilliant! We need more than a new politics; we need a new worldview. We need to shift from an economic to a humanitarian organizing principle for human civilization. And women, en masse, should be saying so.
For those of us who have spent the last 10, 15, 20 years or more pursuing self-growth, personal growth, spiritual or transformational work…our time has come. Our time has come to take all that we have learned, all that we have accomplished and bring it forth into the world. Into a time a great healing. It is time to start a new conversation of possibility, a shift in perspective that we have yet to see, but we the American people are ready for. To merge love and healing with politics. Politics are the possibility for peace on the planet. They are the means to the end, but only if we come from our hearts, use our voices, and speak our truths. Do I have all the answers today? No. Will I in 2024 when I run for Congress? Probably not. But I’ll be aligned with what feels authentically right to me, and I will be working to put human beings before profits, and by God, as Marianne Williamson says, “Our babies will be fed!”
I am thankful to be in this place, at this time, thinking these thoughts, in this body, with such wondrous emotions! I am grateful for it all.
After sharing my experience and my commitment with my best friend Elizabeth, she said, “We are united sisters standing tall, seeing and speaking the truth with compassion and conviction. And as we stand tall we free ourselves from all suppression and oppression igniting a new paradigm that is for the goodness and well being of all concerned. And so it is!”
And so it is!
Journey to Purpose
I had the privilege of attending the recent Manhattan Beach TEDx Conference Journey to Purpose: Dream. Educate. Thrive. I felt so inspired listening to the speakers that I’ve walked away with a new purpose myself…to cause a transformation in education, to work to move 21st century students out of a 19th century education system, and to put creativity back into learning so that every young person is able to critically think for themselves and develop their innate talents and gifts. But more on that later.
Below are my favorite “nuggets” from the day I feel are worthy of sharing for the greater good:
- Rather than wonder what your purpose is, live a life that’s “on” purpose.
- The first follower makes the lone nut a leader!
- Humans are fundamentally curious.
- We’re in a “knowledge economy” and collaboration is vital.
- “Everything works out in the end. If it isn’t working out, then it isn’t the end.” from Marigold Hotel
What’s your purpose?
Girl Scout Rededication From the Heart
I wanted to pass this Girl Scout Rededication along to all you Leaders out there who might be looking for something a little more meaningful to do with your girls. My co-leader and I did this with our Third Grade Brownies and they seemed to really like it. In fact, it inspired a huge group hug and praise such as “You’re the best leaders EVER!” (Each time you see an asterisk, light a candle to represent the three parts of the Girl Scout Promise.)
Leader: Today we come together in silence as we rededicate ourselves to Scouting. We light three candles signifying the three parts of the Girl Scout Promise as we renew it.
Leader: Repeat after me (*) “On my honor, I will try to serve my country.”
Co-leader: On my honor, I will TRY. We cannot succeed if we do not try. So, we will try, and although we may not always succeed, we will grow with each new experience as we put into practice the Promise and Law.
Leader: Our goal is to help you be good citizens today and active citizens tomorrow, as the Scout loves her country and has knowledge of its relationship to the world.
Leader: Repeat after me (*) “To help people at all times.”
Co-leader: All women are sisters. Never forget that. We learn that there are many likenesses in all people, but where there are differences we gain exciting opportunities for understanding and growth.
Leader: Others need you and it is good to know that you are learning skills and have knowledge which can make someone else happier and that you can be useful and of service.
Leader: Repeat after me (*)“And to live by the Girl Scout Law.”
Co-leader: Each Scout is an individual, and by keeping yourself forever fit, (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually) you are better ready to serve others and enjoy everyday living to its fullest potential.
Leader: It is your privilege to keep yourself physically fit, to live with kind thought and unselfish deeds, and to keep yourself morally strong.
Co-leader: As the candle light grows brighter it does indeed fill this room, but it is your internal light that makes this room glow, knowing what a contribution you are to the world.
Leader: Think about all you have done already as Scouts. You are girls of courage, confidence and character with hearts aflame with accomplishment. We look forward to an exciting year of fun and opportunities, as we grow together as Girl Scouts.
Pin new stars and have each repeat the Promise, if desired.
How To Fight with Your Children
I have the awesome privilege of raising two head strong little girls. My challenge is how to bring them up them without squashing their own inner guidance system. Daily I walk the line between allowing them to find their own way and trust their feelings about things, and arguing why showers and teeth brushing are an important part of good hygiene!
As the mother of 8 and 6 1/2 year old children of the now, I find solace knowing that I’m not alone when my thoughtful efforts to calmly guide my daughters towards positive resolution are thwarted and I am left only with my proudest parenting moments which include shouting at the top of my lungs and the dropping of the f-bomb ringing in my ears. It’s comforting to know that other mommies have daughters who also know everything, and that nothing is ever fair in other households as well.
I know this should make me feel better, but alas, frustrated and annoyed with myself mostly, I sought guidance. The coaching I received was so profound and beautiful I had to share.
“It’s good to remember that there are benefits to sparring with others, for competition brings out your best and unleashes your passion and commitment in what you believe. It teaches you to respect others and to not mindlessly impose your will on them. It is suggested that when you do battle with others you:
- Fight fairly
- Learn from the conflict
- Don’t compete just to let off steam
- Fight for progress
- Fight for higher understanding for all concerned”
5 Ways to Add More Play To Your Day
Dr. Stuart Brown has spent much of his career studying the benefits of play for adults. He says we shouldn’t just set time aside to play, instead we should infuse each moment with it!
I love that. But how do I do that? Really do that? Especially when I have a propensity for the serious side of life? Shocking I know, but true nonetheless.
I have given this a great deal of thought and have started creating my own list of things I can do to infuse more play into my day. Much of this involves stopping what ever else I am doing — working, over thinking something, getting frustrated, you know, being human — and taking a moment to presence myself. And sometimes that’s a big deal all on it’s own.
I thought I would share my list with you. Who knows, perhaps we all may find a little more joy because of it.
1. Hug your child. I mean really stop 
what you’re doing and hug your baby. Take pride in knowing that you made this incredible little being full of wonder and curiosity. They are gifts to be cherished.
2. Go outside, be in nature. Take a break and go outside for a breather at the very least. If possible go play ball, take a walk, smell a flower. You can take 10 minutes for yourself no matter how busy you are!
3. Do a happy dance. 
We all have one inside of us. Get up from your desk and shake your tail feathers. Sure, it may feel silly at first, but that’s the idea. Allow yourself to be silly and get those endorphins flowing.
4. Watch an animal play. Animals have a remarkable ability to make us smile. If you’re a pet owner, you already know what I mean. So take a moment and enjoy the little critters in your life. If you don’t have your own, visit the dog park, pet store, kitten adoption or volunteer at a dog shelter. There are so many animals around us, one is bound to tickle your funny bone if you let it.
5. Smile at your reflection. 
You’ve heard people say, “Smile at a stranger.” Well, I say, “Smile at your reflection.” We see our reflection everywhere, so why not smile at it! It’s in my computer screen right now!!! Hello!!! It’s just makes you laugh. It’s about creating a playful relationship with yourself. So when you pass by the mirror, the framed art work, the store front window and the TV screen and you see yourself, give a little smirk. It’s like saying hello to an old friend on the street.
Shelby’s Secrets – Feed Your Inner Child With Play
George Bernard Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” For many of us our lives have gotten so serious and over burdened with responsibilities and overcontrolled by other’s needs, that it’s time for some well deserved playtime.
So during your Fourth of July holiday, as you celebrate America and all her glory, practice honoring your inner child. Take time to daydream, fantasize, visualize, wonder and explore. Feed your inner child with play — recreational activities, theater tickets, concerts, making art, getting out in nature, singing a song, dancing with your kids. Listening to your inner child will reconnect you with your inspiration and creativity, and keep you from manifesting a chronic bad mood, nasty depression or childish tantrum.
Enjoy the magic that comes from playing with your inner child and have a safe, happy, and joyous 4th of July!
Easy 4th of July Centerpieces
If you’re running low on inspiration for your Independence Day celebration, here are some quick ideas for easy 4th of July centerpieces. Notice the everyday containers used? I’m sure you have something laying around the house that would work just as well. And yes, food can make a great centerpiece, especially when it’s this cute!
Fun, Sexy Adult Shipwreck Party Ideas
When I was younger and single, I often fantasized about being shipwrecked on a deserted island along with scantily clad castaways and a band of handsome, swashbuckling and marauding pirates. I don’t know. Perhaps it was the result of watching The Blue Lagoon or the Pirate Movie too many times as a tweenager, or taking Rex Smith too seriously in his Pirates of Penzance role. It might also have had something to do with being a child of the 80s and LOVING the new-romantic look. (Despite what the Seinfeld friends have said…Pirate Shirts rock!).
I often thought my teenage fantasy would make a great party theme and this month on “Shelby’s Secrets to a Great Party!” I’ll be sharing with you the six elements to creating a “family” version of a shipwreck party. In the meantime, here are some deserted island ideas that aren’t appropriate for the whole family, but would be great fun for the adults.
Invitations – Request that everyone come dressed in their skimpiest stranded island or sexiest pirate costumes. Hold a contest and award prizes for the best costume, the smallest costume, the best chest, the hottest legs, and for the most likely to invade.
Decor & Ambiance – Consider having your party on the beach. There’s nothing like a little sand between your toes and the fresh sea air to get a sultry party started.
Food & Beverage – A “Shot Luge” is a must! If not that, body shots at the very least. (Be sure to check out this month’s recipe for “Blue Lagoon” and consider “Tan Titi’s” for your shots. The Tan Titi’s coconut rum, vodka and pineapple juice will go nicely with the two rums in the Blue Lagoon.)
Activities – A live island music band would absolutely pump up the fun to a whole new level, but a DJ or recorded 
dance or pirate music that includes songs like Sea Cruise, Gilligan’s Island Theme, Limbo Rock, and Day-O The Banana Boat Song would be great too. (Don’t forget to check out this month’s iMix playlist for a fun selection of party tunes!) Be sure to encourage slow dances. Have a “Dirty Dancing” contest for couples, a limbo contest, and even a hula hoop contest performed in grass skirts and coconut bras, of course. Again, be sure to award prizes for the best and worst performance.
For a fun game idea be sure to check out this month’s “Ask Shelby” column under the RSVP Club tab. If you’re not a member yet, it’s easy, just choose a user name and password.
Special Touches – Just because you’re throwing a sexy, alcohol-filled adult party doesn’t mean it can’t have heart too! As the host or hostess, give your guests a special memento of the evening like a group photo to take home or better yet, give them something to wear and enjoy during the party. A favor bag full of personal items is another fun idea. Who couldn’t use mints, sunglasses or a shot glass necklace?
As with all my Party Plans for YouCanPlanAParty.com, this one is intended to inspire you! Considering your friends (and family) and your party style, do what works best for you. Mix and match these ideas with the ideas from this month’s videos and add a few of your own, and you’re sure to create a party people will be talking about long after they’ve returned to civilization!
queen of connection | Shelby L. Phillips 