Posts tagged ‘connection’

Journey to Purpose

I had the privilege of attending the recent Manhattan Beach TEDx Conference Journey to Purpose: Dream. Educate. Thrive. I felt so inspired listening to the speakers that I’ve walked away with a new purpose myself…to cause a transformation in education, to work to move 21st century students out of a 19th century education system, and to put creativity back into learning so that every young person is able to critically think for themselves and develop their innate talents and gifts. But more on that later.

Below are my favorite “nuggets” from the day I feel are worthy of sharing for the greater good:

  • Rather than wonder what your purpose is, live a life that’s “on” purpose.
  • The first follower makes the lone nut a leader!
  • Humans are fundamentally curious.
  • We’re in a “knowledge economy” and collaboration is vital.
  • “Everything works out in the end. If it isn’t working out, then it isn’t the end.” from Marigold Hotel

What’s your purpose?

October 22, 2012 at 9:51 pm 3 comments

Girl Scout Rededication From the Heart

I wanted to pass this Girl Scout Rededication along to all you Leaders out there who might be looking for something  a little more meaningful to do with your girls. My co-leader and I did this with our Third Grade Brownies and they seemed to really like it. In fact, it inspired a huge group hug and praise such as “You’re the best leaders EVER!” (Each time you see an asterisk, light a candle to represent the three parts of the Girl Scout Promise.)

Leader: Today we come together in silence as we rededicate ourselves to Scouting. We light three candles signifying the three parts of the Girl Scout Promise as we renew it.

Leader: Repeat after me (*) “On my honor, I will try to serve my country.”

Co-leader: On my honor, I will TRY. We cannot succeed if we do not try. So, we will try, and although we may not always succeed, we will grow with each new experience as we put into practice the Promise and Law.

Leader: Our goal is to help you be good citizens today and active citizens tomorrow, as the Scout loves her country and has knowledge of its relationship to the world.

Leader: Repeat after me (*) “To help people at all times.”

Co-leader: All women are sisters. Never forget that. We learn that there are many likenesses in all people, but where there are differences we gain exciting opportunities for understanding and growth.

Leader: Others need you and it is good to know that you are learning skills and have knowledge which can make someone else happier and that you can be useful and of service.

Leader: Repeat after me (*)“And to live by the Girl Scout Law.”

Co-leader: Each Scout is an individual, and by keeping yourself forever fit, (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually) you are better ready to serve others and enjoy everyday living to its fullest potential.

Leader: It is your privilege to keep yourself physically fit, to live with kind thought and unselfish deeds, and to keep yourself morally strong.

Co-leader: As the candle light grows brighter it does indeed fill this room, but it is your internal light that makes this room glow, knowing what a contribution you are to the world.

Leader: Think about all you have done already as Scouts. You are girls of courage, confidence and character with hearts aflame with accomplishment. We look forward to an exciting year of fun and opportunities, as we grow together as Girl Scouts.

Pin new stars and have each repeat the Promise, if desired.

October 16, 2012 at 2:42 am Leave a comment

How To Fight with Your Children

I have the awesome privilege of raising two head strong little girls. My challenge is how to bring them up them without squashing their own inner guidance system. Daily I walk the line between allowing them to find their own way and trust their feelings about things, and arguing why showers and teeth brushing are an important part of good hygiene!

As the mother of 8 and 6 1/2 year old children of the now, I find solace knowing that I’m not alone when my thoughtful efforts to calmly guide my daughters towards positive resolution are thwarted and I am left only with my proudest parenting moments which include shouting at the top of my lungs and the dropping of the f-bomb ringing in my ears. It’s comforting to know that other mommies have daughters who also know everything, and that nothing is ever fair in other households as well.

I know this should make me feel better, but alas, frustrated and annoyed with myself mostly, I sought guidance. The coaching I received was so profound and beautiful I had to share.

“It’s good to remember that there are benefits to sparring with others, for competition brings out your best and unleashes your passion and commitment in what you believe. It teaches you to respect others and to not mindlessly impose your will on them. It is suggested that when you do battle with others you:

    1. Fight fairly 
    2. Learn from the conflict
    3. Don’t compete just to let off steam
    4. Fight for progress
    5. Fight for higher understanding for all concerned”

August 9, 2012 at 8:12 pm 2 comments

5 Ways to Add More Play To Your Day

Dr. Stuart Brown has spent much of his career studying the benefits of play for adults. He says we shouldn’t just set time aside to play, instead we should infuse each moment with it!

I love that. But how do I do that? Really do that? Especially when I have a propensity for the serious side of life? Shocking I know, but true nonetheless.

I have given this a great deal of thought and have started creating my own list of things I can do to infuse more play into my day. Much of this involves stopping what ever else I am doing — working, over thinking something, getting frustrated, you know, being human — and taking a moment to presence myself. And sometimes that’s a big deal all on it’s own.

I thought I would share my list with you. Who knows, perhaps we all may find a little more joy because of it.

1. Hug your child. I mean really stop what you’re doing and hug your baby. Take pride in knowing that you made this incredible little being full of wonder and curiosity. They are gifts to be cherished.

2. Go outside, be in nature. Take a break and go outside for a breather at the very least. If possible go play ball, take a walk, smell a flower. You can take 10 minutes for yourself no matter how busy you are!

3. Do a happy dance. We all have one inside of us. Get up from your desk and shake your tail feathers. Sure, it may feel silly at first, but that’s the idea. Allow yourself to be silly and get those endorphins flowing.

4. Watch an animal play. Animals have a remarkable ability to make us smile. If you’re a pet owner, you already know what I mean. So take a moment and enjoy the little critters in your life. If you don’t have your own, visit the dog park, pet store, kitten adoption or volunteer at a dog shelter. There are so many animals around us, one is bound to tickle your funny bone if you let it.

5. Smile at your reflection. You’ve heard people say, “Smile at a stranger.” Well, I say, “Smile at your reflection.” We see our reflection everywhere, so why not smile at it! It’s in my computer screen right now!!! Hello!!! It’s just makes you laugh. It’s about creating a playful relationship with yourself. So when you pass by the mirror, the framed art work, the store front window and the TV screen and you see yourself, give a little smirk. It’s like saying hello to an old friend on the street.

July 24, 2012 at 7:41 pm Leave a comment

Shelby’s Secrets – Feed Your Inner Child With Play

George Bernard Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” For many of us our lives have gotten so serious and over burdened with responsibilities and overcontrolled by other’s needs, that it’s time for some well deserved playtime.

So during your Fourth of July holiday, as you celebrate America and all her glory, practice honoring your inner child. Take time to daydream, fantasize, visualize, wonder and explore. Feed your inner child with play — recreational activities, theater tickets, concerts, making art, getting out in nature, singing a song, dancing with your kids. Listening to your inner child will reconnect you with your inspiration and creativity, and keep you from manifesting a chronic bad mood, nasty depression or childish tantrum.

Enjoy the magic that comes from playing with your inner child and have a safe, happy, and joyous 4th of July!

July 4, 2012 at 4:28 pm Leave a comment

Celebrating Dads Who Empower Their Daughters

June 18, 2012 at 5:28 pm Leave a comment

The Power of Connection

I received this the other day with a note saying, “Anxious to see how you handle this.” It’s an email that has been floating around the Internet in honor of Friendship Week. The original message wants the recipient to pass the story along, so I am, to my readers. It bring tears to my eyes and reminds me of the power of connection. We never truly know the difference we make in someone’s life. So wield that power carefully and let’s be good to each other. Enjoy the story!

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him
so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”
He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen
him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I be came best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to NC State. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!”
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and
smiled. “Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly
your friends…I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
“Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Look for God in others.

June 11, 2012 at 8:11 pm Leave a comment

New Party Ideas Resource Now Online

I’m a firm believer that we can hear the same thing twenty times and not REALLY hear it.  But for whatever reason on the twenty-first time, it clicks, and we have that “ahh” moment. (Thank you Oprah.) Likewise, we can read book after book on the same topic without much breakthrough.  Then an author comes along who connects with us, things start making sense, and we begin to see things in a whole new way – a shift in our perception occurs.  Brilliant!

I can’t help but feel that everyone’s brain processes information differently.  So as a writer or speaker, if you don’t connect with everyone in your audience, it’s not personal.  You know, different strokes for different folks.  Diversity makes the world go round. You can’t be all things to all people.  I think these statements are true.  In fact, that’s why a little competition is good.

I’m not afraid of the competition because I think we all have a message to deliver and there’s plenty of “listening” to go around. To that end, it is my hope that people see as one of their valuable resources for party planning.  Hopefully their main resource of course, so that I can keep teaching people how to throw great parties, because that is really my goal — to connect with you and provide my information in a simple, easy-to-implement format. Hopefully my approach will work for most of you, but if not, there’s always the competition.

Currently the host of “Shelby’s Secrets to a Great Party!” airing on, Shelby Phillips is an award-winning party design expert with over 20 years experience. Shelby has co-written a book series titled “The Enlightened Party Planner: Guides to Creating Parties from the Heart” and developed a 6-step formula for bring people together to celebrate. She has also been a host and designer on the Style Network’s “Big Party Plan Off,” and owner of a successful event planning and promotions company.

May 19, 2010 at 6:25 am Leave a comment

Shelby L. Phillips

As an intuitive transformational messenger, a communicative wife of nearly 30 years, and an open-hearted mother of two, I take pleasure in telling good news stories, connecting people to the eight dimensions of well-being, and inspiring us to love ourselves and each other because life really is worth celebrating! Find out more about me at


Love Can Do Anything By Shaun Jacobs

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